What is the name of the first electricity detective? Sherlock Ohms! If Avogadro calls, tell him to leave his number.
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Never trust an atom Are you a carbon sample? Because I want to date you! Six sigma bonds to bring them all, And in the solvent, bind them. My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned; I couldn't concentrate. A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls.
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One day his supply of the birds ran out, so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged with transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises. A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal brujo who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation.
When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the brujo looked him in the eye and said, "Let me tell you, with fronds like these, who needs enemas? A Relative Limmerick There was an old lady called Wright who could travel much faster than light. She departed one day in a relative way and returned on the previous night.
Q: How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. Q: How many theoretical physicists specializing in general relativity does it take to change a light bulb? A: Two.
One to hold the bulb and one to rotate the universe. Q : What did one lab rat say to the other? Physics Activist There has been too much action in reaction to political scandals. Please write to your congressman to repeal Newton's third law.
I was reading a book on anti gravity. I found it difficult to put down. Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together? A: CSI. Q: What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder? A: "You may have graduated but I've got many degrees". A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a martinus.
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist? A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium. The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state. If they have eggs, get a dozen.
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The last words of a chemist? A Higgs Boson particle walks into a church, and the priest asks "Why did you come? You can't have mass without me!
Two guys walk into a bar. The first guy says, "I'll have some H2O. Q: Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia? A: Because it's pretty basic stuff. What kind of ghosts haunt chemistry faculties? Methylated spirits. Q: What do you call a clown who's in jail? A: A silicon. Q: What did one ion say to the other? A: I've got my ion you. Q: Why did the acid go to the gym?
A: To become a buffer solution!
Q: Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak? A: Because it's in the ground state. Q: Why did Chlorine's sisters Boron and Carbon lock her in the closet? A: Because she was too attractive! Q: Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen? A: They bonded well from the minute they met. Q: How can you spot a chemist in the restroom?
A: They wash their hands before they go. Titanium is the most amorous metal. When it gets hot, it'll combine with anything.
Valentine's Day Books for Kids of All Ages
Why does the ocean roar? You would too if you had that many crabs on your bottom. Submitted by Kim G. You're cilia than me! Leonard: Sheldon!
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- The Nyctalope on Mars 2: The Triumph of Love?
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We have to do this! Sheldon: No. We have to take in nourishment, expel waste, and inhale enough oxygen to keep us from dying. Everything else is optional! Trinitrotolulene to students is quite appealing. We tried some out in class today, the floor is now the ceiling. You Pb me to believe he's dead.
I Zn he won't survive.